Let’s talk about the boundaries we set for ourselves.
There are a lot of articles written about boundaries – mainly about setting boundaries with others – your friends or family, your boss, other third parties.
Strangely, I have come across fewer articles about setting boundaries for yourself – and yet these are perhaps the most important boundaries that we can set. Setting boundaries for ourselves is an expression of self-love. That we are worthy and valuable.
Examples might include only having two chocolate biscuits rather than half the packet, or putting the bedside light out by 11, or not eating gluten because it makes you feel ill.
And yet boundaries for ourselves are some of the hardest to maintain because there is no accountability. We are the only ones to know what we have set out to do – and there is no one to keep an eye and make sure that they are upheld.
I suppose we tell ourselves that it’s ok to break boundaries with ourselves because no one is getting hurt.
No one else, of course.
But we are getting hurt. Because often those boundaries are about getting exercise, or eating better, or getting more sleep. And when we step over the boundary (like staying awake watching YouTube in bed, rather than getting some sleep) we are the ones to suffer.
Furthermore, when we don’t maintain boundaries for ourselves, we get into a habit of accepting that it is ok to break those boundaries. That we are not worth protecting with boundaries. And when we allow ourselves to break these boundaries, it becomes easier to allow others to break boundaries with us too.
And so, I am curious:
- Is there an area of your life where you lack boundaries towards yourself?
- What would be the ideal situation, or boundary that you would like to instil?
- What would be the positive impact of this boundary on your life?
- What would be the consequence if you overstep this boundary?
- How can you keep yourself accountable to maintain this?
I would love to know what you think about this; email me to let me know.